I Am

I am in pain yet satisfied.
I wonder what is wrong with me.
I hear the madness growing.
I see the scar forming.
I want more.
I am in pain yet satisfied.

I pretend nothing happened.
I feel the pain growing.
I touch the wounded area.
I worry someone will find out.
I cry for I am ashamed.
I am in pain yet satisfied.

I understand what I am doing is wrong.
I say this has to end.
I dream I will do better.
I try to reach my goal.
I hope I can conquer this.
I am in pain yet satisfied.